Now that my ears have stopped bleeding

Last night was terrific. Scandalous? Sure. Educational? Of course. It all came together quite nicely, but it never would have happened without tons and tons of help. So we have a bunch of THANK YOU shout-outs to spread on the web this mornin’.

First, we gotta thank our brave, ballsy presenters who got up there and strutted their stuff. I still can’t believe some of what I heard, and my mind never would have been expanded without the speakers and their freaky slides. So hey, guys, thanks for putting yourselves out there for IPAH #1. We greatly, greatly appreciate you.

Secondly, thanks to our volunteers and crew. As we’ve learned from other Ignite Phoenix events, these things don’t just fall into place. There is a lot of behind the scenes hard work that has to happen for the show to go on … and the behind the scenes work happened in spades at the Myst Ballroom last night. Thank you, volunteers and IPAH crew: Jeff Moriarty, Michael Barber, Dannie Moriarty, Jana Knapp, Andy Woodward, Matthew Petro, and Sara Dobie. You rock.

We owe an artistic thank you to Mr. Andrew Courdek of Mezzomind for designing our super sexy IPAH t-shirts, which you probably were quite jealous of last night. Thanks, Andrew, for not being afraid to throw some bad words around—in a very devious, creative way!

In regards to the t-shirts, thank you to Brand X for their literal creation. Brand X is a constant support to the Ignite Phoenix program. We owe them a massive debt of gratitude for all they do for us. Without them, we wouldn’t look quite as awesome.

Thank you to our hosts for the night: the Evening Entertainment Group, including the friendly, helpful staff at Myst. You guys made us feel at home. You also kept us fed, gave us drinks, and let us talk about whatever we wanted. That is freedom; that is fun. Thanks, EEG. You made it possible.

Finally, thank you, Valley of the Sun. Thanks to all of you who showed up last night to support IPAH and its inaugural presenters. It’s because of your passion that we exist. Keep being passionate, Phoenix. And we’ll keep delivering.

In closing, I know you had fun last night. We all had fun last night. But we want your feedback. This is our very first Ignite Phoenix After Hours. What did you think? What did you FEEL? What would you never change, and what would you change immediately? We want your input! You are the audience. You matter! Send comments to Please, let us know how we did … and we’ll see you at Ignite Phoenix 9.

Party Time

Tomorrow night is THE night. We want everyone to get there safely, have an inconceivably good time, and leave with dirty dreams. So here are a bunch of itty bitty details to make it run smoothly …

COME HUNGRY (for food and knowledge)
There will be a buffet provided by Evening Entertainment Group. The cost is twelve bucks, and the feast includes:
Assorted Cheeses & Veggies
Assorted Crackers and Dip
Chips & Salsa
Vegetable Spring Rolls w/ Hot Mustard
Mini Chimi’s With Jalapeño Cream Cheese
There’s a full bar, too, open for your enjoyment. Don’t hesitate: booze will make some of the more freaky presentations go down easier.

You can wear whatever you want tomorrow. If you want to show up in skin-tight leather, more power to you. That said Myst Ballroom is a club, not a theater. Seating is extremely limited. You’re gonna be standing a lot, so wear comfy shoes and a friendly disposition. Close quarters may be unavoidable, so make new friends!

As you’re probably aware by now, Ignite Phoenix After Hours will be held at The Ballroom at Myst Nightclub in Scottsdale. You’ll find the address below with a link to Google Maps for easy driving directions. Parking is available throughout Old Town Scottsdale and a six-story parking garage located directly to the south of the venue.
The Ballroom at Myst Nightclub
7340 East Shoeman Lane
Scottsdale, AZ 85251
Click here for driving directions!

This event is 21 and up. You cannot bring an underage date (I don’t care how hot she is). Bring your ID. If you forget your ID, we will have to toss you onto the street. Not literally, but seriously, why would you show up to a bar without your ID???

Ask, and you shall receive. We will be holding Ignite Phoenix After Hours Karaoke at intermission, and the prizes freakin’ ROCK. If you want to participate, find someone in an IPAH t-shirt prior to the show. He/she will point you to a signup sheet. (Did I mention the prizes freakin’ ROCK?)

You must bring the printed copy of your IPAH ticket to be presented at the door tomorrow night. I’m not kidding. If you don’t have a printed ticket, we will frown at you. A lot. Doors/buffet/bar open at 6 PM. Don’t be late! Presenters will be onstage at 7 PM, sharp. And this event is not being streamed live. It is not being taped. If you miss the beginning, you will not be able to go online and check out what you missed. What I’m saying: if you don’t see it LIVE, you won’t see it AT ALL. (And remember: if you have extra tickets you can’t use, let us know via Twitter or Facebook so we can assist the unfortunate ticket-less.)

Yeah, I just poured a bunch of info on ya. But it’s good for you. Looking forward to seeing everyone tomorrow night. It’s gonna be a landmark event in the Valley of the Sun!

Tickets? We ain’t got no stinkin’ tickets


Four days left until the very first, very exciting Ignite Phoenix After Hours! Can you believe it? Months ago, it was merely a dark dream in the mind of the Ignite Phoenix team. As of this Friday, the dream will come true, bringing words like “fisting,” “see-you-next-Tuesday,” and “titties” to a mainstream audience who actually paid to be there!

Speaking of paying to be there, we are not taking charge of a ticket exchange for this event. We will have no tickets available at the door. In fact, there are no tickets available at all. What I’m saying is, if you don’t already have a ticket to Ignite Phoenix After Hours, you may be up a creek with no paddle. That said you can try to beg via Twitter (hashtag #ipah) or Facebook.

(And hey, if you’ve double-booked for that night and cannot attend, get in touch with us, and we will do our best to give those valuable tickets a new, happy home.)

REMEMBER: This event is 21 and above. That means, bring your ID with you! There will be a big, scary bouncer outside the Myst Ballroom in Scottsdale checking people out. And if you aren’t 21 … well, haven’t you been paying attention? This event is 21 and above! Also, you must bring the printed copy of your IPAH ticket to present at the door. JUST DO IT!

We’re Not Only Here to Talk about Tits

Are you excited? Because I’m excited. In a week and a half, I get to learn all about the c-word (yeah, THAT c-word), rectal misfortunes, the history of boobs, and so much more. This is exciting stuff. However, let’s not forget why we’re really here.

We created Ignite Phoenix After Hours to be no-limit with no boundaries. That means 21 and up. It means dropping the f-bomb. Talking about sex in public. Cussing as much as you want and being as inappropriate as you’d like. But we are not here for shock value alone. We’re not here for gratuitous naughtiness. We’re here because we believe there has to be a sounding board for the edgy side of Phoenix—a sounding board that, until December 3rd, has been empty.

The Valley of the Sun is a varied population. Many of us care about design, art, writing, video games … the list goes on and on. But where some people are white bread, others are burnt toast. And what the heck are the burnt toast people supposed to do? Hide in the shadows, like cultural vampires? I say NO! The edgy folk have a right to share their passions, too, but Ignite Phoenix just wasn’t the appropriate place. Ignite Phoenix After Hours is the appropriate place, and yeah, we’re excited.

You should be, too. Although you’ll probably see a lot of familiar faces at IPAH next Friday, it’s likely to reach a new demographic, as well—a demographic as yet unreached by Ignite Phoenix. If nothing else, you will see a different side of the people you know and possibly work with.

Maybe you’ll find a different side of yourself, too. Maybe you’ll realize you really like Lenny Bruce. Maybe you’ll get to town on those oft neglected kegel muscles. Maybe you’ll give up online dating … or maybe you’ll create a sexy profile the following day!

I dunno what to expect next Friday, beyond giddy, irrepressible excitement. I’ll see you there. Feel free to bust out the Jim Morrison-esque leather pants. Or maybe that bustier you’ve been saving for just the right occasion.

A Nasty Case of Glossophobia

The number one fear reported in most national surveys? Public speaking.

Known as “glossophobia,” it’s no joke. Imagine: you’re standing on a tiny stage in front of a couple hundred people. They’re staring at you, waiting to hear you say something terribly clever. Instead, you look down and realize you’re not wearing any pants. Worse yet, you realize you’ve forgotten the terribly clever thing you were going to say.

But the best cure for a fear of public speaking? Public speaking. It’s true! It’s the whole face your fear thing the quacks talk about, and it works wonders. Just remember to wear your pants.

The crowd loves you.

We do our best to sooth the psyches of our presenters. IPAH may be edgy, but we don’t want our presenters on edge. Last night, they took part in a presenter workshop. They received some valuable tips for public speaking, catered specifically to the Ignite Phoenix format and crowd. They’re gonna be fine. They’re gonna do great.

Honestly, an Ignite crowd is a happy crowd—even the dark and dangerous After Hours variety. What’s not to be happy about? On Friday, December 3, we will be packed together in a super-sexy venue, keeping each other warm. We’ll be drinking our drinks of choice, eating some yummy apps, and chatting it up with pals. We’ll be waiting to see the speakers we paid to see! We will be a captive audience. Even if you’re not wearing pants!

If you have a fear of public speaking, Ignite Phoenix / Ignite Phoenix After Hours events are the best sounding board on the planet. The audience is there to embrace you and applaud you. No worries. If you’ve already been picked to speak at IPAH #1, tell yourself you’re going to kick some a$$. If you’re a ticket holder, bring out your clapping hands. And if you suffer from glossophobia, guess you better be ready to submit to IPAH #2.