If you’re lucky enough to attend Ignite Phoenix #9 tonight, you’ll hear some exciting news: Ignite Phoenix After Hours #2 is officially taking place Friday, July 29, 2011, at Radius Nightclub in Scottsdale.

We all remember IPAH #1. (We did condone drinking, so it might be hazy, but the memory is there, somewhere.) I know you didn’t forget the fisting presentation, and who doesn’t love some nice tits? It was more than just sex, though, right? It was edgy, controversial, and it got you thinking. One of our presenters encouraged you to drink and drive, while another bemoaned his status as maybe-Mexican. If those topics didn’t rattle a few cages, I don’t know what will.

Wait, sure I do. Lemme ruffle your feathers …

There’s more where that came from. We have a lot of edgy controversy in our world, and IPAH is the perfect sounding board for venting your frustrations, opinions, and enlightening anecdotes. We are here as an alternate to Ignite Phoenix. At Ignite, you need to stay below the PG-13 barrier. At IPAH, there is no barrier. We’re R, X, and NC-17, and you love it.

That said, let’s reiterate the rules for IPAH newbies:

If you’re ready to jump in head first, get your presentation together, and we’ll let you know when we’re open to submissions on the SPEAK page. We still have all the submissions from IPAH #1 posted there right now, so if you want some creative inspiration, check ‘em out.

Submissions will stay open until we say they’re closed. Tickets will go on sale when we say so. We are Phoenix’s version of a fun-loving Big Brother, and we want your ideas, your attention, and your adoration. Mostly, we’re just excited to announce Ignite Phoenix After Hours, Part Deux. Let the games begin …

Over a week has passed since the inaugural Ignite Phoenix After Hours, and it’s given some of us crew members time to think about how it all went down. And we’re pretty happy about it.

The venue was perfect, albeit a tad packed. It was just what we were looking for: flames illuminating the back porch, Phantom of the Opera chandeliers, and even red/black wallpaper, reminiscent of Elvira’s boudoir. Music (thanks to Michael Barber) set the tone for a sexy, rockin’ good time, and we couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful evening, with the sun setting low over a Scottsdale backdrop.

The crowd was varied. There were Ignite Phoenix die-hards, who’d been to all the other events and who had been just waiting for something like After Hours to come along. There were newbies, too—people who had never been to an Ignite but had somehow heard about this thing called “IPAH.” There were leather (or was it pleather?) pants, plunging necklines, and some excellent hair and makeup. Sexy people there to hear some sexy stuff.

Speaking of which … there was tons of sex at Ignite Phoenix After Hours. Annie Janssen reminded the ladies of the importance of kegel muscles. Debbie Walker warned us of the proper positioning of sex with an asthmatic. Evo Terra embraced implants and real boobs alike in this presentation about “titties.”

But let’s not forget the cuss words … Nina Miller, thankfully, gave us a new use for See You Next Tuesday, honorably replacing this derogatory term with the evil, dirty “dogf%#$er.”  The f-bomb was dropped with prideful regularity, and no one batted an eye.

Social commentary? We had it. Michael Cady triumphed the theory of “party plates”—license plates that tell the police, “I’m cool. I can drive drunk, because I passed the state-issued drunk driver test!” Victor Moreno made us realize we all just want to be zombies (it’s human nature, okay?). And Krystopher James VanSlyke embraced his semi-Mexican (or was it Dutch?) culture by asking the crowd, “How Mexican is Mexican enough to be Mexican?”

I guess the inaugural event was kind of shocking. We had a great turnout. Our hosts did a great job. Our speakers rocked out, as did our audience. But yes, I was shocked. Weren’t you? And in shocking you, I think we achieved our ultimate goal. We’ve said it before, we’ll say it again: we’re not just here to talk about tits. We’re here to expand your mind in ways a PG-13 platform cannot, while promoting Phoenix pride in the process. We’ve done it once. With your support and enthusiasm, we might just do it again.

Thank you, Phoenix. Have a happy holiday season with your friends and families. Oh, but I don’t suggest bringing up a detailed explanation of fisting anywhere near your mother … (Lucky you: the actual fisting presentation is on YouTube.)

Check out some pics from event night HERE.
And read Evo Terra’s take on the whole thing HERE.

Last night was terrific. Scandalous? Sure. Educational? Of course. It all came together quite nicely, but it never would have happened without tons and tons of help. So we have a bunch of THANK YOU shout-outs to spread on the web this mornin’.

First, we gotta thank our brave, ballsy presenters who got up there and strutted their stuff. I still can’t believe some of what I heard, and my mind never would have been expanded without the speakers and their freaky slides. So hey, guys, thanks for putting yourselves out there for IPAH #1. We greatly, greatly appreciate you.

Secondly, thanks to our volunteers and crew. As we’ve learned from other Ignite Phoenix events, these things don’t just fall into place. There is a lot of behind the scenes hard work that has to happen for the show to go on … and the behind the scenes work happened in spades at the Myst Ballroom last night. Thank you, volunteers and IPAH crew: Jeff Moriarty, Michael Barber, Dannie Moriarty, Jana Knapp, Andy Woodward, Matthew Petro, and Sara Dobie. You rock.

We owe an artistic thank you to Mr. Andrew Courdek of Mezzomind for designing our super sexy IPAH t-shirts, which you probably were quite jealous of last night. Thanks, Andrew, for not being afraid to throw some bad words around—in a very devious, creative way!

In regards to the t-shirts, thank you to Brand X for their literal creation. Brand X is a constant support to the Ignite Phoenix program. We owe them a massive debt of gratitude for all they do for us. Without them, we wouldn’t look quite as awesome.

Thank you to our hosts for the night: the Evening Entertainment Group, including the friendly, helpful staff at Myst. You guys made us feel at home. You also kept us fed, gave us drinks, and let us talk about whatever we wanted. That is freedom; that is fun. Thanks, EEG. You made it possible.

Finally, thank you, Valley of the Sun. Thanks to all of you who showed up last night to support IPAH and its inaugural presenters. It’s because of your passion that we exist. Keep being passionate, Phoenix. And we’ll keep delivering.

In closing, I know you had fun last night. We all had fun last night. But we want your feedback. This is our very first Ignite Phoenix After Hours. What did you think? What did you FEEL? What would you never change, and what would you change immediately? We want your input! You are the audience. You matter! Send comments to ignitephoenix@gmail.com. Please, let us know how we did … and we’ll see you at Ignite Phoenix 9.

Tomorrow night is THE night. We want everyone to get there safely, have an inconceivably good time, and leave with dirty dreams. So here are a bunch of itty bitty details to make it run smoothly …

COME HUNGRY (for food and knowledge)
There will be a buffet provided by Evening Entertainment Group. The cost is twelve bucks, and the feast includes:
Assorted Cheeses & Veggies
Assorted Crackers and Dip
Chips & Salsa
Vegetable Spring Rolls w/ Hot Mustard
Mini Chimi’s With Jalapeño Cream Cheese
There’s a full bar, too, open for your enjoyment. Don’t hesitate: booze will make some of the more freaky presentations go down easier.

PRACTICAL SHOES; KINKY COSTUME
You can wear whatever you want tomorrow. If you want to show up in skin-tight leather, more power to you. That said Myst Ballroom is a club, not a theater. Seating is extremely limited. You’re gonna be standing a lot, so wear comfy shoes and a friendly disposition. Close quarters may be unavoidable, so make new friends!

LOCATION LOCATION
As you’re probably aware by now, Ignite Phoenix After Hours will be held at The Ballroom at Myst Nightclub in Scottsdale. You’ll find the address below with a link to Google Maps for easy driving directions. Parking is available throughout Old Town Scottsdale and a six-story parking garage located directly to the south of the venue.
The Ballroom at Myst Nightclub
7340 East Shoeman Lane
Scottsdale, AZ 85251
Click here for driving directions!

AGEISM
This event is 21 and up. You cannot bring an underage date (I don’t care how hot she is). Bring your ID. If you forget your ID, we will have to toss you onto the street. Not literally, but seriously, why would you show up to a bar without your ID???

KARAOKE
Ask, and you shall receive. We will be holding Ignite Phoenix After Hours Karaoke at intermission, and the prizes freakin’ ROCK. If you want to participate, find someone in an IPAH t-shirt prior to the show. He/she will point you to a signup sheet. (Did I mention the prizes freakin’ ROCK?)

TICKETS
You must bring the printed copy of your IPAH ticket to be presented at the door tomorrow night. I’m not kidding. If you don’t have a printed ticket, we will frown at you. A lot. Doors/buffet/bar open at 6 PM. Don’t be late! Presenters will be onstage at 7 PM, sharp. And this event is not being streamed live. It is not being taped. If you miss the beginning, you will not be able to go online and check out what you missed. What I’m saying: if you don’t see it LIVE, you won’t see it AT ALL. (And remember: if you have extra tickets you can’t use, let us know via Twitter or Facebook so we can assist the unfortunate ticket-less.)

Yeah, I just poured a bunch of info on ya. But it’s good for you. Looking forward to seeing everyone tomorrow night. It’s gonna be a landmark event in the Valley of the Sun!

Woooooooooo-wee!

Four days left until the very first, very exciting Ignite Phoenix After Hours! Can you believe it? Months ago, it was merely a dark dream in the mind of the Ignite Phoenix team. As of this Friday, the dream will come true, bringing words like “fisting,” “see-you-next-Tuesday,” and “titties” to a mainstream audience who actually paid to be there!

Speaking of paying to be there, we are not taking charge of a ticket exchange for this event. We will have no tickets available at the door. In fact, there are no tickets available at all. What I’m saying is, if you don’t already have a ticket to Ignite Phoenix After Hours, you may be up a creek with no paddle. That said you can try to beg via Twitter (hashtag #ipah) or Facebook.

(And hey, if you’ve double-booked for that night and cannot attend, get in touch with us, and we will do our best to give those valuable tickets a new, happy home.)

REMEMBER: This event is 21 and above. That means, bring your ID with you! There will be a big, scary bouncer outside the Myst Ballroom in Scottsdale checking people out. And if you aren’t 21 … well, haven’t you been paying attention? This event is 21 and above! Also, you must bring the printed copy of your IPAH ticket to present at the door. JUST DO IT!