Submissions for After Hours #4

Here are the talks that have been submitted so far for Ignite Phoenix After Hours #4 on November 14, 2014.

The Death of Granny Barbara
Presenter Redbird and the Worm
Biography I am a terrible person and I am going to hell. I find a way to laugh during the most stressful and horrible life moments, and so does the the woman I love. My brother also shares this same socially unacceptable trait along with his wife. We inherited this from our mother. We spent her last weekend together laughing while she died.
Description We wrote about mom’s last weekend and laughing through it. Friends thought it would make a good play, so why not Ignite? Some samples:

I tell the three of them that “Mom told me she wanted to die.” This statement doesn’t surprise any of them so I add, “I could have been wrong though, she might have said ‘I want some Frito Pie'”.

I couldn’t help myself and brought my hand up to my ear answering my imaginary phone with, “yeah, she’s right here, but she can’t talk right now.”

Octoberfest Soberfest
Presenter Geoff Snyder
Biography Well fuck… I probably should have saved myself some time and copied my previous submission to paste it here. 🙂
Description My story about a journey of discovering the trials and tribulations; a grieving process, containing self-blame after losing a dear friend, “Miss Jan”, to a drunk driving accident. For close to 15 years, I take one of my favorite months off from imbibing, to look around me and within me to help others with self-control while celebrating with drinks. Through discovery, we can learn to accept that we can only be responsible for our own actions and let others’ decisions rest.
Bad Buddhist
Presenter Hoen
Biography Zen is my life. Zen is what I do. Buddhism is a big part of who I am and my self identity. The problem is, I’m a bad Buddhist.
Description After over 25 years of Buddhist practice I’ve found that the best response to someone telling me to “Be Zen about it” is a slap in the face. That’s the sound of one hand clapping. I would like to talk about people’s ridiculous assumptions about Buddhism and what it means to be a Buddhist in America. I want them to talk away feeling a deep love for the world or at least a deep love for me.
Sexy Photos in the Age of Surveillance
Presenter Yael Grauer
Biography After getting very upset about some anonymous threats I received online, I realized my views on privacy were totally f*cked. Despite wanting accountability for my adversaries, I realized attacking the tools that aided them would be a bad idea, since I wanted to use them, too. And so I tumbled down the rabbithole of encryption/cryptography research.
Description With the Snapchat data breach (and before that, the celebrity iCloud breach), finding a safe(r) way to make sure your intimate, private self-destructing images are only see by the intended recipient(s) is harder than ever.

In this talk, I’d like to explain exactly who you can trust to send your pics, what the methods (encryption, etc.) and vulnerabilities (3rd party apps, the NSA, etc.) are, and methods you can take (or pressure companies to take) to make sure your sexy pics stay private.

A Life From Mindless Fucking to a Year of Celibacy
Presenter Geoff Snyder
Biography 4 Year Phoenician, transplanted from Marco Island; Detroit Native. IT guy who tends to shake things up in the tech community with a passion for leadership development and community building. I became interested in my topic due to its impact on my personal transformation and self-awareness.
Description Throughout life, we experience love and hate, joy and pain, and often thoughts and feelings in which we cannot explain. Like most people, our “first love” tends to dematerialize into something that it never was, leaving us wondering how and why we allow ourselves to become unguarded and vulnerable. We often connect the act of making love, sex, or fucking… with love. After years of trying to keep the physical act separate from the emotional aspects of it, I realized something great: Celibacy.
Erotic Art
Presenter Mark Greenawalt
Biography I am a fantasy illustrator and bodypainter. I’ve always loved hyper-realistic fantasy paintings for their sexually charged beauty. Later I discovered pin-up art with exposed nudity and eventually discovered a seemingly underground world of erotic art. It’s not for everyone, but I love seeing the work of truly great artists that choose this genre.
Description Some art lovers enjoy landscapes and fruit bowls. Others like sexual paintings of Kama Sutra positions, leather bound BDSM characters, and maybe even a woman masturbating with an octopus. Erotic art may not be socially acceptable to the masses, but erotic artists have found international markets online and at exhibitions like the Alwun House Exotic and various Fetish Ball events. I’d like to introduce you to the genre and to some great works by local and international artists.
Science + Love = The Raelian Religion
Presenter Kelvin
Biography I’ve always had an interest in religion and the mystics. I’m basically an opened minded person with a thirst for harmony & truth. I learned of the Raelian Religion from a tv show called “Sightings”. I was intrigued by a piece that was aired about Raël Maitreya. I ordered Maitreya’s book, read it and put the teachings into practice.
Description I’ll be sharing about my love and passion: The Raelian Religion. How an atheist religion have become so dear to me; i love being Raelian. I hope that the audience will gain a better understanding of our philosophy and that, the heart of the Raelian Religion is love.
Don’t Molest Me Bro!(How I learned to cope using humor)
Presenter Dwayne
Biography I’m a local writer/performer/storyteller, recently graduated from ASU and currently teaching preschool at a local domestic violence shelter. I’m a mess.
Description At a young age, I was raped by 2 local boys in my neighborhood. While this experience was traumatic and extended into many other parts of my being, I let the pain of my assault live internally until college, when I learned to laugh at my experience in a way that brought about not only a catharsis of sorts, but also allowed me to cope with and experience my pain in nuanced ways.
Dirty Pillows: Why Boobs are Fun, Awful and Amazing
Presenter Not Kim Kardashian
Biography I have big boobs and I cannot lie. No really. Anyway, I just need to get a couple of things off my chest.
Description My relationship with my own breasts has been rocky. Mountainous, even. I’ll cover what it’s like to live with a set of boobs, the good and the bad, why breasts are such a big deal (regardless of sexual orientation and sexual preferences), and how to snag a lover with big boobs. Just kidding about that last one… kind of. There will be a lot of puns.
You Gotta Be Hard: How to take sexy photos of naked men
Presenter Jacki O.
Biography Co-founder of PoolBoy Magazine, an adult magazine and website featuring hot naked guys and cool content for badass ladies. We’ve sold issues around the world, had launch parties in NYC and won the PHX NewTimes Best of Award for Best Twitter. My job is to go around and ask hot guys if I can take naked photos of them for my dick mag. I love my job.
Description This is selfie culture, media matters. Unfortunately, guys are putting up and sending some truly ugly dick pics. As a professional pornographer I can offer insight on the best ways to take photos of your hot boyfriend or, ahem, yourself. I’ve taken hundreds of photos of naked guys and suffered through some awkward shoots to get the best pictures. In the digital age, the female gaze is becoming more and more prominent and important. Men need to step up their game, and I can help.
Why 30 – 60% of Us Cheat and What to Do About It
Presenter Dr. Susan Simpson
Biography I’m a clinical sex therapist, intimacy and dating coach, empowering individuals and couples of all orientations and lifestyles to create passionate and pleasurable sexual relationships by building sexual self-awareness, intimacy and communication skills. Sex issues are the #1 cause of divorce; sex coaching a path to lifelong intimate fulfillment.
Description Monogamy is a myth. Over half of marriages end in divorce, with sex the #1 cause. In any given relationship there’s a 15% chance at least one partner is cheating, and 30 – 60% probability one or both partners will cheat at some point in the relationship. I will discuss the main reasons why men and women cheat, how humans are not biologically monogamous and alternative solutions for creating workable alternative sexual relationships in the 21st C. I have coached people on non-monogamy since 1999.
A Sex Therapist’s Recipe for a Stress-Free Threesome
Presenter Dr. Susan Simpson
Biography I’m a clinical sex therapist, intimacy and dating coach, empowering individuals and couples of all orientations and lifestyles to create passionate and pleasurable sexual relationships by building sexual self-awareness, intimacy and communication skills. Sex issues are the #1 cause of divorce; sex coaching a path to lifelong intimate fulfillment.
Description Monogamy can get boring. The decision to invite a third person into the bedroom carries certain risks. Who do you choose? What if things go wrong (or really great), how might this impact the relationship’s future? I will offer tips to avoid common mistakes couples make when taking this leap, and my step-by-step recipe to creating a successful threesome, so people can make an informed choice about whether to explore this juicy fantasy. I’ve coached people on alternative lifestyles for 15 years.
yes even that is a fetish!
Presenter mitch Beyer
Biography I’ve been intricately involved in the Arizona fetish community since 2000. I have produced or participated in over 200 fetish event experiences. I’m well known in the Phoenix fetish community. I’ve been a co director of a Phoenix swinger club. Icoordinate the only mandatory play house party DV8-AZ & I produced the EPIC fetish events.
Description people don’t really understand the term fetish. They think its a real sex hbo episode.but the reality is that anything that causes a sexual response can be labeled a fetish. It’s not about the most vs the least vs most popular or the most erotic or strange. I like to engage people at the primal level. Make them think about what gets them off and then turn that into a positive self-realization. That’s what fetish events and fetish balls are all about. giving people a chance to be unique.

For Goog

Stand-Up Comedy Will Save Your Life
Presenter Ernesto Moncada
Biography A published author of novels, short stories and poetry; also an actor, director and playwright of the Arcana Collective; funding member of the bilingual improv troupe Los Subtítulos; stand-up comic and variety show host; a visual artist with a BFA in Graphic Design; and a former high school teacher, now he’s a student advisor for an on-line college
Description Keeping your sanity is tough in this day and age, specially if you are an intelligent individual with some sense of how messed up the world is. Some folks resort to marriage, family, careers and obsessions to avoid being driven mad. But you don’t have to get married or pregnant to avoid the mental asylum! Stand-up comedy can save you and I can show you how to start!
What to watch? BDSM in mainstream media.
Presenter Doughal
Biography ‘m one of the founding members of the Phoenix Kink Con and am a life long fetishist. I came of age in the “Dark Ages” before the internet and social media and remember feeling ashamed for my proclivities. I’ve been active in the local BDSM community for 5 years as an ever-learning Dominant to a loving beautiful Submissive.
Description What movies portray BDSM in the best light? Which ones not so well? With the anticipated release of “50 Shades of Grey” coming out, find out which movies are “good” and which are “bad” in how they show the BDSM and kink communities.
The ABC’s of BDSM
Presenter Doughal
Biography I’m one of the founding members of the Phoenix Kink Con and am a life long fetishist. I came of age in the “Dark Ages” before the internet and social media and remember feeling ashamed for my proclivities. I’ve been active in the local BDSM community for 5 years as an ever-learning Dominant to a loving beautiful Submissive.
Description What do those letters really mean? How does one get into BDSM and to what level? Am I a pervert if I want my girlfriend to boss me around during sex? These and many more of your questions will be answered about the basics of BDSM, the relationships involved and sexual practices.
Topless Equality for All
Presenter Jenna Duffy
Biography I organized the first topless rights movement in Arizona 3 years ago. I was suspended in high school for showing my breasts and I didn’t think it was fair because any guy at my school could take their shirt off without consequence. It wasn’t until I saw a CNN news report on Moira Johnston that I became involved in protesting for breast freedom.
Description I want to speak directly from my POV as a woman on this topic. Most of all I want to address the concerns I see raised over and over again on this topic that need to be answered. I want to give a bit of women’s topless history and contrast it with male topless history. I want people to walk away at least examining their personal view of breasts. I don’t expect to change minds, but I do want people to question their own views on breasts.
Geek on the Street, freaks in the sheets
Presenter JIm
Biography I’ve been active in the Phoenix geek scene for over 3 years with my video work covering Arizona conventions as Geekssociated Press, my work has been featured on the award winning East Valley Tribune’s Nerdvana blog. I am also co host of The Naughty Nerds Podcast which focuses on sexuality and geek life. I live and breathe geek culture!
Description Many people think of geeks as socially awkward or sheltered creatures playing D&D or World of Warcraft in a basement while watching old re-runs of Firefly or Doctor Who. The fact is that a great many geeks crossover into kink, fetish, and ethically non monogamous lifestyles. Why are so many geeks actually freaks in the sheets?
How to End Your Marriage With Facebook
Presenter Mike Johnson
Biography Real life experience
Description The title says it all. Many of us are only one Facebook friend away from divorce. What happens when you reconnect with “the one that got away.”
You Keep Me Hanging On: Fun With Flesh Suspension
Presenter Ashley Naftule
Biography I’m a writer and performer. What drew me to this topic: I live mostly in my head. I’m an introverted person who often feels disconnected from my body. I tried out flesh suspension a few years ago as a lark after reading about it for years and I found that it really awakened me and made me aware of my body in a way few things ever have.
Description Flesh suspension. It sounds gruesome and looks the part: getting hooks pierced into your back, hoisted up into the air to hover over the ground, your back skin stretching like pulled taffy… for some folks, that may not sound like a good time. But it is. It’s a rush like no other. And I’d like to explain just how fun it can be, by talking about my own experiences with it, where you can do it and why its not as scary or as painful as it looks .
When Sluts Fall in Love
Presenter Deb Caron & Noah Dyer
Biography We’re promiscuous people in love… and we want to share it with you, and you, and you. And you.
Description Both self-proclaimed and proven sluts (one of us perhaps more so than the other), we’ll talk about why monogamy is death… but total freedom, complete and sometimes brutal honesty, and sex with lots of other people, is the ultimate recipe for a deeply loving romance. We’ll give you all the dirty details about open relationships you want – and probably some that you don’t – from both the male and female perspectives. We invite you to the beautiful and glorious dark side!
Why I don’t feel bad banging your wife
Presenter Noah Dyer
Biography A little of everything
Description When I have sex with people’s wives, I don’t feel bad about it. I’ll share lots of reasons why. It will be hilarious.
Living with the Effects of Sexual Abuse
Presenter Ruth Carter
Biography I was molested by my brother for 2 years. My family ignored that anything was wrong & pressured me to maintain the perfect family image. I coped by trying to make people think I was a confident successful person. Most people didn’t know how anxious and self-destructive I really was or how the real me is generally quiet and introverted.
Description I live with the devastating effects of sexual abuse every day. It makes me furious that statistics say this is pervasive problem and we’re shocked when these stories make the news. I was shamed into silence & think too many others are too. I want to break my silence & talk about the shame I feel, the anger I have towards my abusers, the aftereffects I still deal with and the unhealthy ways I’ve coped, and the impact it’s had on my romantic relationships.
Alistair Quinn
Biography I’ve worked in politics for years, and have as a result have witnessed some of the most raunchy and scandalous stories about our leaders. I wold love to show the “True Nature of Politics”!
Description I have worked on both sides of the political spectrum as a staffer and consultant. We are the silent gears that keep your government working. Truly, NOTHING would be accomplished without us. We are always in the background; listening, protecting, covering up your elected officials tracks. The lies, drugs, homosexuality, and infidelity are unparalleled. If you think rock stars live crazy lives, you’ll be blown away by the behavior of our leaders.
DMT: Life or Death Molecule
Presenter Tgaps
Biography Detroit born and raised. Phoenix 7+years.
Thinker, Lover, Philosopher, Shaman, Biker, Hippy.
I have been involved with DMT and other psychedelics for 4+ years.
I set about learning about the molecule and educating.
I recently had a near death (hospital) event with DMT and would like to share my experience and precautions. I
Description I will inform/educate about the technical aspects of DMT, the experiences of DMT, and the precautions associated with any recreational drug from my recent near death.
Many people are exploring their consciousness through the use of recreationals.
I aim to steer many away and give a safe path for those who wish to continue.
I do not intend to advocate the use of any drug.
I’ll gladly share more if emailed.

For Google

The Myth of Modesty: Decoupling nudity and sexuality
Presenter Sara Santiago
Biography When I started work as a life model, I was advised to find a robe that was not lacy, short, or particularly revealing in any other way. It surprised me that covering up between poses could be sexualized more than my fully-lit nude body was on the modeling dais, and sometimes I wonder if Rodin’s “The Thinker” is contemplating the same irony.
Description Why is it okay to walk outside in a string bikini, but not in your granny panties and bra? Why do porn actresses wear heels on camera? Would the Venus de Milo really look less objectionable if she had pasties covering her nipples? In a collaboration with photographer Devon Adams, we explore the artistic blank slate of a woman’s nude body and how sexually-charged it can become by adding apparel. My talk will challenge the idea that covering up our bodies automatically makes them less erotic.
The History of The World’s Funniest Joke
Presenter Elvis Presley
Biography Greg Taylor is hopelessly addicted to music. Phoenix Suns Fan. Founder of Marketing Press. Rutgers Grad. Manchester United Supporter. Originally from NJ, now Tempe, AZ is home.

This topic is just plain funny and will fit in perfectly for Ignite After Hours, especially since Bill Risser told me I can submit it to regular PG Ignite. (Thanks Bill.)

Description All by itself the punchline of “The Aristocrats” makes no sense, and isn’t funny. So why is “The Aristocrats” one of the oldest, funniest jokes — that’s a standard for every comedian?

Let’s discuss the origins of “The Aristocrats” and the famous comedians that have told it.

Mental Orgasms
Presenter Chelsie Reed
Biography I learned about Mental Orgasms as an undergrad and they were totted as a strange occurrence, but could (and does) help men with spinal cord cuts have kids naturally. It is amazing that something that is useful, fun, and just an all around good is unknown. Lady Gaga is the most recent Pop-culture reference and it is still ignored.
Description Mental Orgasms are a purposeful orgasm by though alone, without physical stimulation. I get bombarded by people who do this already but feel weird or strange and do not understand all the implications; medical, mental, impact on relationships, and enjoyable; that mental orgasms can have. I talk about them in a “non-sticky” and very clinical way, not x-rated. Please see drchelsie.com for the recent research if you want more basic info. I will not promote my business, just awareness of the topic.
The Mocktopsy aka The ROCKtopsy.Lets refrain from death
Presenter Professor Qui Gon “Two Jinn Flynn
Biography My pious Mother, Evelyn, who turn 80 this August, developed a one of a kind curriculum science program at The Orinda Nursery School for ages 4-6. I was her prototype and experiment for all of these studies.I had a microscope ,basically tied around my neck.Many books and songs later, I am now 45 years young and I am a forensic autopsy specialist.
Description Imagine: Einstein shaking hands with Young Frankenstein while head butting Gallagher. There is a “Shamu Zone ” with orange pylons, audience participation, exploding safe balloons, laughter, musical and celebrity references all in due respect. The finale is a Q & A to answer any questions to my “pad wan learners”.
Are you a complete ASKHOLE?
Presenter Bryan Lee
Biography Bryan Lee is an actor, stand-up comedian, author, and self-motivator. He has a deep desire to help people reach their full potential, however gets extremely frustrated when his clients don’t take the advice he gives them.

He has appeared in film, on television, and in print, but still prefers that one on one interaction.

Description No, the title is not a misprint! We all have askholes in our lives…it seems unavoidable. But how do you handle an askhole? What really is an askhole? Are you a complete askhole?

Nothing is more frustrating than trying to get through to an askhole. Find out how to smack an askhole, lift an askhole, and find out how to stop being an askhole if you are indeed one.

This discussion may get me steamed….:)

The Night Grandma Asked What A Dirty Sanchez Was
Presenter Bryan Lee
Biography Bryan Lee is a stand-up comedian, public speaker, actor and author.

Bryan is currently single and lives in Phoenix.

A member of every online dating site known to man, he has met his share of unsavory dates, online liars, flakes, nut jobs, etc. His dates have included watching funeral videos,& camping with zombies.

Description It was 2003 and my mother, grandmother, and I all found ourselves single and looking for husbands. About this same time, internet dating was all the rage.

We all began scouring these dating websites, and vowed to land mail order husbands…what none of us anticipated, however, was our lack of sexual knowledge and abbreviations.

The night my Grandma asked what a dirty sanchez was, I knew we had work to do!

How do you find the perfect man when they lie and us fake photos?? Find out!

Making Women Beautiful with the Magic of Photography
Presenter Mark Greenawalt
Biography I am an artist mostly known for my bodypainting projects, but since these art projects are temporary I have had to become adept at photography to capture the moment. I use makeup, lighting, and posing to make models as beautiful as possible. I’ve shot with awesome models all over the world and my images have been published in several magazines.
Description Glamour and Fine Art Nude Photography techniques bring out the inner beauty of women to create stunning images. It starts with the glamorous makeup that turns the “girl next door” into a super model. Next are the poses that accentuate the curves and bring out the alluring sex appeal. Other choices deal with lighting, composition, props and settings. Ultimately a connection and comfort level must be achieved with the photographer so that the model becomes playful and exudes her sexual prowess.
Men are fucking babies!
Presenter Pagona Xenos
Biography When I saw children being rented for a weekend in a third world country it felt like I was punched in the face. It has ignited a primal response in me. I wanted to kill. Instead I have chosen to speak about it and empower our women to protect their children, educate the kids and help men gain back their sexuality.
Description I believe in choice and our children are not given the opportunity to choose their future. Babies from 1-16 years old are being fucked right here in the most advanced country of the world in an industry that makes $9.8 Billion annually on their bodies. The first step to any form of action is awareness. Let’s not pretend this happens only in far away lands.
Thinking Pos+(sitive)
Presenter Dwayne Holmes
Biography An ASU Graduate, a Performer, an Artist, apiring Comedian, and professional day-dreamer, I am a hodge-podge of identities and ideals forced into this black, pudgy, short body. And recently, as of 11/12/13 (not joking) – I was diagnosed HIV positive. This heartbreaking revelation has, actually, lead me to the most beautiful of realizations.
Description As of November, 12th, 2014 I was diagnosed HIV+. While this absolutely knocked the wind out of me, devestated me to my core, it gave me the opprotunity to rebuild from scratch. What I have now, is a new outlook on life and a new appreciation for myself, the sensation of touch, and those that have kept me sane and close. My talk will discuss how our community navigates sex and sexual desires, and how I have attempted to find myself again (who was previously a very sexual human being).
The ABCs of Anal
Presenter Dwayne Holmes
Biography A recent ASU Graduate and a local Performer, I have been gay all my life, and let me tell you it has been an adventure. I am very interested in sex and sexuality, and most of my conversations end up being about sex eventually. I guess I just have that effect on people 😉
Description But the question I get most often from my straight gal-friends is “Wait, so how does buttsex work?” — SO finally I decided to start writing guides about it, which leads me to this talk. People need to know that Anal sex doesn’t have to be scary, painful, or (dare I say) messy. It also is some of the most amazing sex both guys and girls can have.
Sex is Better in a Closet Anyways
Presenter Dwayne Holmes
Biography Recent ASU Graduate and local Performer, I have written and performed in 3 Solo-Shows at ASU as well as done First Friday Night live downtown and other performance/spoken word events. After being in a relationship, in secret, for 3 years with a Straight-identifying man, I have seen the fault in our “two party” sexuality system.
Description Some how my fat, black, gay ass keeps finding straight-identifying men who want to fool around with me. At first, I thought it has something to do with me, the way I self-identify and carry myself but then I realized – the problem is the way we force these men to choose masculinity and heterosexuality, or this fiery pit of homosexuality. This talk will hopefully enlighten people that sexuality goes beyond practices, and that when we transcend these labels, we find beautiful relationships.
How to Pick Up Straight Girls at a Gay Bar
Presenter Jhairehmyah
Biography I’m gay yet I keep mostly straight friends, and not for any particular reason, it just is. They all go with me to the gay bars. I love gay bars for many reasons: low/no cover, cheap drinks, and mostly uninhibited fun. At gay bars everyone talks to each other, everyone dances with each, and everyone has more fun!
Description My straight friends come to gay bars with me all the time–because gay bars are more fun. And it bugs me when they meet more straight girls than I meet cute guys. My straight friends and I figured out something: its easier to meet real, cute, fun straight girls at a gay club than a straight club. We will explain how that is.
Medical marijuana: This ain’t yer ma’s weed, man
Presenter TheFabulousOne
Biography I grew up with a hippie mom. The evil pills on the market can often be toxic for your liver, kidneys, and other parts of your body. There are many myths surrounding medical marijuana, and I’m gonna blow ’em up.
Description The issue of medical marijuana it hotly debated around the world, and it’s legal in some states (Arizona FTW!) for medicinal purposes. What does a dispensary look like? Will there be homeless junkies all up in here, trying to score an eighth? Nope. What makes it “cure what ails ya?”
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