I’m a fairly timid person. Sure, once I get to know people I’m Queen of the TMI but deep down I’m more the hanger-on and not the star. Though when my friends started to push me (seriously, I had permanent hand prints on my back), I started to think about presenting at an Ignite Phoenix event. It’s in my nature to be a bit raunchy, so when Ignite Phoenix After Hours came along I felt it was the better fit.
I had a dozen reasons NOT to present. Because of medical issues I knew I’d have trouble memorizing what I wanted to say. Because I’m chicken I wasn’t sure I could even make myself get up there and speak at all. Because of my low self-esteem I just knew nobody would be interested and they’d all hit the bathroom when it was my turn. The list goes on. But I knew I just had to do this.
My presentation was “Fuckin’ Asthma” where I skimmed over the issues and limitations a person with severe asthma has when planning … sex. Honestly, it went great. I was nervous before it was my turn, but I bulldozed over that fear and moved on stage without letting myself over-think it. I remember having a bit of a panic when I did forget a portion of my presentation, but the audience was supportive and I ad-libbed through it. People laughed when they were supposed to and didn’t laugh at me. I walked off that little stage with relief, but also pride and joy. I did it!
The ideas keep popping up in my head for my next presentation. Now that I know I can do it, I need to work on doing it better! Plus I find I’m not as timid about speaking up in other situations anymore. Ignite may have created a monster.