Submissions for Ignite Phoenix After Hours #2

Below are the submissions for the second Ignite Phoenix After Hours, which will be held on July 29, 2011. If you would like to submit an idea for the next After Hours event, visit our submission page.

Slash Fiction 101: Luke’s Lightsaber, Harry’s Wand & More
Presenter Dustin Diehl
Biography Writer, blogger, reader, movie-goer, Star Wars enthusiast. A geek with a heart of gold (I hope) but not without a mischievous side…
Description Slash fiction-not slashER fiction-rather, romantic (often sexual) mashups (sometimes literally) of some of your favorite pop culture fictional characters-but with a twist. Boy on boy & girl on girl. Luke/Han (get it, Luke slash Han)? Spock/Kirk? Harry/Ron? Yeah…and you thought you’d never see Star Wars the same way after my OTHER Ignite talk 😉

Choosing to Die – When Suicide Becomes an Option
Presenter Jeff Moriarty
Biography Improv performer, writer, geek, and armchair philosopher.
Description People with horrible diseases cling in misery and pass their pain onto their loved ones because our society does not allow people to choose the manner of their death. And those with reasons to live kill themselves because they feel suicide is too shameful of a topic to discuss, so don’t get help. Suicide needs to be discussed, not ignored.

Strip Clubs Are a Girl’s Best Friend
Presenter Sheila Dee
Biography Even though I have been married for 22 years and have a college-aged son, I am a girl who still likes to have fun! Blame it on my passion for photography; I love the female form!
Description Girls and strip clubs! No, not girls AT strip clubs, but girls going TO strip clubs. I’m a girl, and I LOVE going to Strip Clubs. I have been going for many years and have had good and bad experiences! I want to show women that it is ok to go to strip clubs and how to have a good time while there.

Parables vs Facts: Why we know the earth is older than 6000 years
Presenter Evo Terra
Biography I’m old hat at this ignite stuff. I’m skeptical, but not cynical. Well, not too much. And I like talking about skepticism in ways that doesn’t cause the person I’m talking to to think I’m a giant dick. I mean, I am, but they don’t need to think so.
Description I’m OK with your religious beliefs. Really, I am. But I’m not OK with those beliefs controlling policy or attempting to counter demonstrably proven facts about the universe. In this talk, I’ll demonstrate (without the use of hard-to-understand things like carbon dating) how we know the universe is more than 6000 years old.

Checking out your ass doesn’t make me a misogynist
Presenter Evo Terra
Biography Old hat at this Ignite stuff. Skeptic, craft beer drinker, founder of and author of Podcasting for Dummies. And lots more. You’ll love me if you give me the chance. Or not. Either way, we’re good.
Description I have a Y chromosome. 4.5 years of evolution compels me to notice those with all Xs. This isn’t a character flaw. And it’s not something that societal pressures can change overnight. But my looking doesn’t mean I’m a pervert, creep or pig. Yes, unwanted advances are inappropriate. Always. And no means no. But godsdammit… I have a penis!

Presenter Liam Royce
Biography I am Drummer/Producer/former Radio Personality & Award Winning DJ.
Description .I am currently writing a one-man show about not just being an asshole, but about my actual anus, & others I’ve known. From the time I inserted a tampon into my ass in 4th grade, thinking it was to help with diarrhea, to shoving a microphone up there to record the sounds inside my body, and then playing the results back at a party, I’ve had quite

Polyamory; yeah it is all about the Sex!
Presenter C. A. Sizemore
Biography I write Science Fiction & Fantasy, I am published on Kink and Alternative Sexuality. I need more hours in the day to read. I am a bisexual free range kinkster with a strong geek fetish. I live in a polyamorous marriage with my wife and her other husband, our teenaged daughter, 2 dogs and 6 terrapins.
Description I will talk down and dirty about the reality of my lifestyle. The joys and challenges of living under the same roof with a you partners other husband, triple dates, compersion, frubble and the green eyed monster JEALOUSY! The logistics of a three way and how they can be much more fun.

Everything you always wanted to know about gays but were afraid to ask
Presenter Chad
Biography I’m a social technology geek and researcher who also spends plenty of time at gay bars, pool parties, and various other places of ill repute that tend to attract the homos.
Description Let’s be honest, lots of heteros don’t know what makes gays tick. We love Lady GaGa, Madonna, fancy swimwear, and random sex with people we just met. Our pool parties are fun, our parades are faaaaaahbulous, and our bars have glory holes. I’ll be your gay guide as I walk you through the basics of gaydom, from Sodom to Stonewall.

Living, Working, and Screwing in a 12′ x 12′ Room
Presenter B.T. Franklin & Michelle Burchfield
Biography B.T. is a musician, composer, and coder. Michelle is an actress. The two of them live together in the Firehouse Gallery in downtown Phoenix–in one room.
Description We live together in a single room in an art gallery in downtown Phoenix. Everything we own is in here, and both of us work from home. It is an unusual life, with unique challenges and benefits, and WE LOVE IT!

Pornography: It’s All In The Title
Presenter Brie
Biography My name is Brie and I swear I’m a college graduate (despite my interest in funny porn).
Description I’m just like the rest of you: twitter obsessed, social engaged, & an occasional pornographic video viewer. Maybe unlike you, I go on the hunt for funniest porn titles & vids I can find – midgets & cooking utensils were involved? This should be great! It’s time to share my discovery with the world: the best porn titles (& plot lines!) I’ve found.

Lady in the Streets and a Freak in the Bed: Overcoming the Madonna/Whore Complex
Presenter Amanda Collins
Biography Amanda Collins is the owner of The Grammar Doctors, a boutique marketing-communications firm that provides strategy and creation of articles, blogs, newsletters, press releases, social media updates, website content, and resumes for businesses and individuals. She is currently writing a book on relationships post-feminism.
Description Men and women of a certain age were told growing up: “You fuck some; you marry others.” But why can’t one woman be all things to one man?

Learn how one woman who embodies both sides of the Madonna/whore complex has struggled to find one man who appreciates a dynamic, “real” woman. They think they know what they want, but they don’t.

Burning Man
Presenter Tgaps
Biography Jack-of-all-trades, gun-toting liberal, neo-shaman, I drive a fur covered motorcycle, I know the Wu-Tang secret, I eat my grits with brown sugar. I am not safe for general consumption.
Description Ever attend an event and realized you’ve changed for the better?

That is Burning Man.

Many people have heard about it from friends of friends, the news, internets, and bathroom stalls.

What’s it like? Where’s it at? Are there really topless girls there? Will I die? Drugs? Sex? Bacon? Art? Bacon/Sex-Art?

I’ve got the answers (also some bacon)

Cubicle Dweller by Day, Dick Crocheter by Night
Presenter Meow
Biography I grew up with two older goofy brothers and watching Ren & Stimpy which molded my sense of humor.

I paid $25,000 to weave on a loom, play with yarn and embroider (aka got a BFA in Fibers).

Combine those two and you get a disgusting, raunchy, arts and craft girl who needs to pay her student loans back.

Description What happens when you crochet and sell bloody tampons, fetuses and dicks as pet toys? A lot of weird looks, funny conversations, laughter, a little controversy and complete satisfaction with paying off my student loans doing what I love.

Rape Culture 101, Or, I’m Not OVERSENSITIVE, You’re Just A SOCIOPATH
Presenter Adam ‘Pi’ Burch
Biography In addition to playing videogames, and in addition to an interest in politics, Adam Burch is also a ‘radical’ feminist. What a character!
Description Rape Culture is a pernicious, destructive force that has surrounded all of us since birth. Rape Culture is on the covers of romance novels and in the depths of our newspapers. Rape Culture is women being admonished for being with the wrong crowd, while men being praised for getting in with sluts. It’s time we started killing it.

how to sell yourself as an awesome photographer even though you really suck
Presenter danno watts
Biography danno watts became a photographer because one of his web design clients had awful photos on their site and he thought, “I can do better than that.”

so far no one has bothered to stop him.

the chumps even fly him to new york, san francisco & los angeles and pay him to take photos of pretty people.

Description taking pictures of half-naked women isn’t as easy as you might think.

well actually, it’s pretty easy.

i’ll share with you some of my best work… and some of the horrifyingly awful stuff that

happens in between, that no one ever sees.

Go to Hell – a visitor’s guide
Presenter The Handmaiden
Biography I am a native Arizonan that has a love for arts and culture, travel and a good story. My expertise in my chosen topic is purely based on research and 2nd hand accounts. I am an ambassador on assignment, still figuring out the specifics.
Description Given the recent media obsession with Hell, the Devil, vampires and otherwordly topics, it is high time to shed light on the subject and expose the historical context, the development of the myths and ideas surrounding it. The presentation will give a comprehensive illustration of “Hell”, based on Biblical accounts and artistic interpretations, as well as a non-preachy and practical advice for those wanting to avoid a personal encounter with said destination.

The “6th” language of love: THE BLOWJOB
Presenter Smokie Stock
Biography Smokie Stock is a 41 year-old freelance architectural designer living in Scottsdale, Arizona with 20+ years of residential design, relationship and life experience -The culmination of which provides a deliciously skewed and unadulterated view of life, love and design software applications.
Description In his famous book, “The Five Love Languages”, Dr. Gary Chapman’s so thoughtfully covers:1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch 

Unfortunately, and much to the dismay of us simpler men (99.8% of us!) he has mistakenly left out:

6. The Blowjob

There’s a Better Beer
Presenter Merlin
Biography Serial Entrepreneur & Passionate Marketeer, founder of DripMedia. I’ve worn a lot of hats throughout my career in entrepreneurship. I live for business, food, drink and good company. Having immigrated from Germany I have a natural tendency to indulge in good beer. Recently I’ve discovered good beers and great beers and I love to share! Salut!
Description Your beer sucks and you don’t even know it. There is a big world of flavorful, delicious, well crafted brew and you’re not drinking it. Take a glimpse into the journey of discovering great beer just around the corner. Explore, experience, and indulge in palatable drink. Your mouth will be angry with you when it realizes what it has been missing.

Sex, Booze & Massage Therapy
Presenter BoozeInPhoenix
Biography Going from a mid 20’s city bar dweller to a early 30’s Massage Therapist is no easy task. Owning a practice you have to learn how to sell you and your employees while completely avoiding sex and booze which happen to be favorites of mine.
Description Everyone wonders about the dark side of Massage Therapy. I’ll speak on Marriage & Massage, Tales from the Treatment Room, Asian Massage, Table Showers and the ever popular “Rub & Tug” joke from the perspective of a Licensed Male Therapist who believes everything has its place.
The evolution of the sex toy
Presenter @TheFabulousOne
Biography A well-educated (in the bedroom!) cougar.
Description From metal objects that weren’t made to hit all the right places, to modern-day, woman-friendly objects, the sex toy industry is nothing new! Luckily, though, it has evolved.

If you can read, you can cook damnit! So F^*% you foodie snobs
Presenter Donna Donahue
Biography Wife of an amazing man, mother of 6 wonderful children, and a mad cooking fool. I love food, I love to cook food and if I had my way, I’d bring peace to the world through the love of food.
Description Have you ever heard someone say, “I can’t cook!” Was that person YOU? I believe that if YOU can read – YOU can cook. A “foodie” is someone that uses their skilled palette to determine a meal’s merit. Don’t let your humble beginnings prevent you from creating the next ‘dish-to-die-for’! Don’t let foodie snobs tell you anything different!

How to Lose a Guy in 4 Days
Presenter Cheryl Marquez
Biography California transplant trying not to melt in the AZ desert, obsessed with tech gadgets, yoga, and Zumba. Co-founder and Chief Mom at Hand Things Down, blogger for and GenJuice. I’m a single mom who can juggle kids and business with my eyes closed, yet still make rookie mistakes when it comes to relationships.
Description You meet a girl, she’s seems super cool and fun. After a few dates, you wonder who killed the girl you met and replaced her with the workaholic, calendar nazi. Perhaps you planned a trip with her where she got horribly sick and turned into a wicked bitch. This is the story of the overachievers who can kill a potential relationship in 4 days.

Sex for Revenge
Presenter Artist and Observer
Biography I observe nature, humanity and man-made things and draw and paint them. I’ve been around the block a few times. I am educated, experienced, well-traveled and know a little about a lot of stuff…therefore have lots to tell and opinions to share.
Description I know some of you have thought of this to get back at a partner who wronged you…well, I did it. I’ll tell my story…in a witty, snarky way. Revel in the story knowing you are not the only one. I also have some advice in case you are thinking of indulging in this activity.

Fuck Barack Hussein Obama.
Presenter Adam ‘Pi’ Burch
Biography In addition to the whole videogames thing, did you know that Adam Burch is also something of a political wonk? YOU DO NOW
Description I used to figure that politics was a videogame game; with proper knowledge, and a clear head, one could insure victory, meaning the adoption of one’s policies. And when Barack Obama announced his candidacy this feeling was vindicated; or so I thought. Hear firsthand the disillusionment of one of Barack’s earliest supporters.

Sexual Types: Are You a Pit Bull Man or Antelope Woman?
Presenter Amara Charles
Biography Amara Charles, an author and sex and intimacy expert, has been counseling men and women around the world, both in and out of relationships, on topics related to human sexuality for nearly 25 years. Amara’s engaging style invites even shy people to drop their veils so they can broach these transformational topics with openness and honesty.
Description Whether we know it or not, our sex organs are the gateway to all of life … and knowing your “type” will help you understand yourself and your partner better. Each man’s penis and each woman’s vagina corresponds to one of 9 animal types. Learn which type you are – and how best to recognize and stimulate your lover’s type, too.

Bears & Cubs & Otters, Oh My!
Presenter Josh Yeager
Biography I am 40yo gay man who’s been a member of the bear community for about 15 years. Polyglot, agency principle and co-founder of Boston’s infamous Bazaar Bizarre Punk Rock Craft Fair — when I’m not working on digital media, speaking in tongues or making junk art shrines, you’ll find me out & about with a bevy of bears, bear admirers and big boys.
Description Organized around an ursine taxonomy of bears, cubs, otters, polar bears, pandas and more — the bear subsculture has roots in the 1980’s AIDS crisis and exists today worldwide as a lifestyle for many. I’ll be your hirsute sherpa guiding you through a mesmerizing menagerie of masculinity, flannel and facial hair. Rawwwr!

Go Crazy for Art’s Sake
Presenter Michelle Burchfield
Biography I’m an actor, writer and improviser with bipolar disorder. “From Bullets to Hozho,” my autobiographical one-woman show, premieres in the Phoenix Fringe Festival April 1-10, 2011.
Description Acknowledging and exploring madness can boost creativity. How historical figures used their mental uniqueness to their benefit, and how you can, too.

SOCIETY IS DOOMED! AGAIN! and again and again and…
Presenter Daniel Messer
Biography I’m a historian and a librarian and juvenile delinquent who grew up to be a dirty old man. I’ve been called a walking Wikipedia because of my (so-called) vast knowledge of useless information. See, when you’re in my line of work, it’s helpful to know a little about everything, in this case, all of the things that are bad for you.
Description Video games violence turns kids into serial killers, necrophiliacs, and socialists! But what about all the other stuff that was going to kill society? Let me tell you about the pop culture horrors from the past that corrupted your parents, your grandparents, your great-grandparents, and so on. Turns out, society has been doomed for centuries.

It Came From the Past – A Five Minute Walk Through the History of Porn
Presenter Daniel Messer
Biography I’m a historian and a librarian and juvenile delinquent who grew up to be a dirty old man. I’ve been called a walking Wikipedia because of my (so-called) vast knowledge of useless information. See, when you’re in my line of work, it’s helpful to know a little about everything, in this case, the history of pornography.
Description The internet is for porn. So is mineral pigment on rock, chisel on marble, ink on paper, oil on canvas, halide and mercury on tin, and so on. If people can make it, then they’ll adapt it for sexual entertainment. Join me for an arousing talk about the past and pornography.

Things I Would Never Do – Not in A Million Years
Presenter Msss. Champion
Biography Msss. Champion is a silly broad with a diverse background. When she is not running around like a headless chicken for her company, Champion PR + Consulting, she can be found dressed in various costumes (capes are her favorite) or trying to get people to wear silly wigs in public.She is a writer, speaker, welder, lover, mom and a fabulous party hostess.

Her favorite color is green.

Description I would like to think I’d try almost anything once (and have actually done a good amount of crazy things in my life thus far), but when I really sat down and thought about this, I realized that’s not exactly true. Hmmm… What WOULDN’T I do???Enjoying the thought of a good challenge, I’d like to share at least 15 – 20 things I would NEVER do – not in a million years.

Some of them may just surprise you!

Satan: Not as bad of a guy as you think
Presenter Joe Affirmty
Biography Part technical, part artist, part oddball. A background in a million different areas, including world religions and philosophy. Not afraid of the dark.
Description A spirit that thwarts or complicates the life of man is a theme as old as mankind itself, but he wasn’t always a creature of fire, brimstone, horns, and evil. Native Americans called him Coyote, The Trickster. The Norse called him Loki. Neither were out to destroy souls. It wasn’t until the New Testament that the anti-God took on a truly evil role. Learn the theological history of Lucifer, and why in spite of his current bad run of PR he has some lessons we should heed.

Godhand: The Greatest FUCKING Videogame of All Time
Presenter Adam ‘Pi’ Burch
Biography Adam Burch plays videogames. And writes about them. And makes them. He does all these things way to much.
Description There are bad games, there are good games, and then there are Great FUCKING VIDEOGAMES. Godhand is a work so mature it blinded players to it’s brilliance, so immature it has you look at porn to get special attacks, and so brilliant it put it’s makers out of work. After listening to me talk about this game, you’ll either want to buy it, or wonder where my medication is.

1 thought on “Submissions for Ignite Phoenix After Hours #2

  1. Pingback: A Little Nerdy Is All You Need | Susan Lynn Cope

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